How Can I Help my Friend?

Domestic violence know no boundries ,class, race, or gender - we understand that this can occur in heterosexual and same sex relationships.  For this information below we refer to gender in the feminine.

•  If you know someone who is being abused, you can help her by showing you care.

• Let her speak confidentially about her situation and without judgment.

• You may be the only person with whom she feels comfortable.

Show you care in these suggested ways:

• Listen to her.

• Believe her.

• Do not minimize her struggle.

• Do not blame her.

• Assure her that she is not responsible for the abuse and its not her fault.   You can never make someone else hurt you!

• Give her the number to a Toll free Crisis or Support line for domestic violence victims  

• Let her keep important papers and extra clothes at your house or an alternate safe place and encourage her to keep a journal (outside of the home)

• Help when you can with transportation, childcare, groceries.

• Assure your friend that violence in her home does concern you. Help her learn not to deny or minimize the abuse. If she says, “It’s really not that bad,” tell her it is serious.

• Remind and encourage  her that she  ( and her children) deserve to be safe and happy.

• Any  form violence in a relationship (emotional ,verbal, physical)  is never acceptable.  No one deserves to be beaten or beaten down.

• Encourage her to develop a safety plan, to think of ways to escape safely and  quickly.

•  There is no excuse for abuse! 

• Domestic violence is  indeed a crime.

Be patient. It takes time to bring about change. There are many barriers. Your friend has many decisions to make.

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